Search This Blog

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Can You Be Too Young, Too Thin, Too Rich or Too Snail-y?

A new product for wrinkle control comes to the world of cosmetology from our spineless friends the snails. Workers in the gastronomic end of the snail industry noticed the skin on their hands was incredibly smooth after working a long day handling the live snails being raised for human consumption. Initially this effect was attributed to unstudied properties of the snails' slime, and some people still believe the slime is the active component in skin product additives such as Mollu-masque, Snailflux, Tight-n-Slimy, and even Gastrogold used in the multi-billion dollar cosmetics manufacturing industry.

Recent studies have shown it is actually the snail feces that contain the skin-enhancing properties in the alantoina complex: the hidroxi acids, the antibiotics, the fibroblast growth factor; the slime is more or less a carrier and emulsifier. Since snails consume plants, their feces (or poo if you prefer) are in essence concentrated plant extracts. Snails reared on plants with known skin curative, tightening or enhancing qualities (such as aloe, cucumber,pineapple, castor bean, avocado, grape, evening primrose, carrot and even horse chestnut to name several) naturally produce the most effective and valuable poo. Producers are starting to develop specialty poos from snails fed designer mixtures of herbs, plants and fruits, or single-species prescriptive feedings such as the new Double Helix product. Double Helix is poo from the brown garden snail (Helix aspersa) fed exclusively on English ivy (Hedera helix), blended with and extract of black tea, heavy cream, herbal tinctures and of course snail slime (HE glycoconjugates) to keep it all flowing. It is especially good for tightening the skin of the upper lip area.

It might seem gross but like maggot therapy the snail poo facial treatment is gaining respect in a squeamish world of youth seekers. Some beauty supply stores are beginning to stock snail feces facial products such as Double Helix; or you can ask for a poo treatment the next time you visit the spa.

Snails Inc.
further qualities of poop

1 comment:

Cindy said...

I'm a little late getting to this because we were out of town this week, but...I thought at first this was an April Fool post. What will they think of next?